Dear England. We are pleased to tell you that bazball, which you of course mislaid some months ago, has been found. Kindly retrieve it from Kingsmead at your earliest convenience.
What other explanation could there be for South Africa batting so wretchedly on a blameless pitch on Sunday? With a steady north-easterly – blowing all day – calming the conditions – poor stroke followed poor stroke followed poor stroke to leave the home side with an obstacle course to navigate if they are to win the first Test. Even saving it promises not to be simple.
Australia bowled with discipline and nous, and Steven Smith not once but twice snared outrageous slip catches by morphing into a leaping tree frog. Both were taken at slip, both after reverse sweeps — by Temba Bavuma and Kyle Verreynne — both after Smith had shown uncanny anticipation in his movement, and both off Nathan Lyon.
“I’ve been fortunate to have him standing at first slip or leg slip for the majority of my career, and I’m extremely grateful for that,” Lyon told a press conference. “He’s an incredible thinker on the game. But the way he moves and premeditates for those types of catches, it’s freaky. There’s not many people within that changing room who will be able to pull off what he does.”
Indeed. But that doesn’t explain the South Africans’ approach: when everything around you tells you to keep your head, lose it. If it doesn’t work the first time, keep losing your head until you get out.
From Ryan Rickelton’s weary, wafty drive off Pat Cummins to third slip nine balls into the innings with 43 deliveries left in Saturday’s play to Keshav Maharaj sinking to a knee to slap, crossbatted, a catch to cover off Mitchell Starc, South Africa sacrificed wickets to shots that should have been taken out and shot. The sole exception was Anrich Nortjé, the No. 11, who pushed forward to a ball from Beau Webster and nudged to slip to end the innings with South Africa 106 runs in the red.
And that after Wiaan Mulder had taken time during his press conference on Saturday to extoll Matt Renshaw’s exemplary decision-making during his 190: “He left extremely well. Sometimes he left and the ball went over the stumps. That’s the gameplan.”
Somehow the message didn’t make it back to the dressing room. Maybe because Mulder himself seemed to forget it. Presented with a bouncer from Cummins that would have sailed wide outside his off stump if only he had ignored it, Mulder instead shaped to pull. Then he decided against pulling but neglected to tell his arms to lower his bat. The ball struck it and blooped into midwicket’s hands.
Why did South Africa take leave not of the ball but, so it seemed from the safe side of the boundary, of their senses?
“Matt Renshaw played an unbelievable innings, so a lot of credit must go to him,” Ashwell Prince, who was lumped with the job of explaining all that, told a press conference. “He took the approach of wearing the bowlers down. He did that really well. But every player who walks out for every team has their personal approach to batting. Some guys are more aggressive than others. Some guys tend to go after their strokes more than others. Over long periods of time they reap the rewards. And sometimes it doesn’t pay off.”
Sunday was one of those times. Mulder’s 30 was emblematic of the innings. Six South Africans reached or passed that score. None of them made it to 50. Only David Bedingham and Simon Harmer, who finished 35 not out, faced more than 70 balls.
Just as bad, Aiden Markram and Bedingham, Tristan Stubbs and Mulder, and Harmer and Nortjé shared half-century stands. To squander one 50 partnership is unfortunate. To waste three is beyond irresponsible. The Aussies also had three such stands. They grew one of them, between Renshaw and Lyon, to 134; the biggest for their ninth wicket in Tests against South Africa.
The home side showed no such resolve. They looked good while they lasted, but how long would they last?
On Saturday Markram drove the 10th ball he faced, from Starc, crisply through the covers for four. Two deliveries later he sent Starc searing down the ground for another boundary. Starc also felt the sting of Bedingham’s straight drive for four before bad light hastened stumps on the second day. Getting there for the loss of Rickelton, albeit they were 363 behind, seemed a reasonable position provided they batted well on Sunday
Marco Jansen pulled Cummins for two boundaries from the first two balls he faced. He flat-batted the same bowler past mid-on for another four, then reached wide to smear a sweep off Nathan Lyon to the cushions. Two smoked cover drives for four off Josh Hazlewood followed, the second taking South Africa past the follow-on.
But by then the Aussies knew Jansen had brought only one gear to the crease. So they waited for the error. It wasn’t long in coming. Jansen drove at Hazlewood’s next ball, mistimed his shot and was almost caught at mid-on. Unchastened by that escape, Jansen immediately shovelled a catch to mid-off.
And so on and so forth up and down the order, until Nortjé took guard and played properly. As did Harmer. If only, you could hear cricketminded South Africans complaining, more of their teammates had followed that lead.
Prince wouldn’t agree. At least not in front of the microphones: “I don’t think it was too much aggression. I think the timing of the dismissals wasn’t great. Every time we looked like getting something going, we lost a wicket.”
He did not look like he enjoyed the experience of having to explain his charges’ errors. Why would he considering he didn’t play any of those ill-advised strokes? Doubtless he didn’t coach them either. Rarely, as a player, was he undone by the kind of rashness he had to endure in this innings.
